Fame and Fortune Cookies
by Newromantic
Summary: When is a date not a date? When you have to hide in the bathroom... Chapter Two up
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: Pretty much everything belongs to Gecko etc.  
  
Many thanks to my new beta reader Abby, to whom I owe many, many Jack cookies.  
  
A/N: For Suz, Dena and Cath, who all looked Better in Sam's Emancipation costume (not the blue dress.) than I did.  
  
Fame and Fortune Cookies  
  
Part One: Jack's House  
  
"I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad thing," Jack O'Neill took a moment to glance up from his Game Boy to regard his friend. "I just think maybe she could'a picked someone a little more interesting than a scientist for her first date in years."  
  
"He's a physicist too," Daniel Jackson countered. "They have a lot in common."  
  
"He's a Particle physicist, she's an Astrophysicist. What on Earth could they have to talk about?"  
  
Daniel didn't even bother to grace the Colonel with an answer to that bizarre logic. A simple raised eyebrow was enough to have Jack wincing. "Same thing?"  
  
"Pretty much."  
  
"I just think she needs to realise there's more to the male population than scientists." He put down his Game Boy and turned in his chair to face Daniel. "I mean, look at her past encounters." He ticked off the names on his fingers. "Narim was a scientific genius, Orlin somehow knew how to make precious gems out of kitchen equipment, and I swear she has a crush on Thor." Choosing to ignore Daniel's newest withering look, he continued. "In fact the only guy she dated who wasn't a geek woke up one morning and decided he was God."  
  
Daniel stood and walked into Jack's kitchen in search of coffee. He was definitely going to need caffeine to get through this conversation. Tonight was Sam Carter's first official date in years and it wasn't with Jack. Subsequently, the Colonel had invited Daniel and Teal'c over for a 'boys night' that had involved promises of beer and poker, but had morphed into a melancholy moping session with the ditched half of the never-gonna-happen- whilst-the-military-has-it's-way non-relationship of the century.  
  
Teal'c had the right idea, Daniel mused as he reached for the percolator. After the first hour of Jack's half-assed attempt at playing cards, he had made up some lame excuse about forgetting his Tretonin and left for the base. Right at this moment in time, Daniel would have given anything to have a substance addiction.  
  
Coffee ready, Daniel slowly made his way back into the den where Jack was once again staring sightlessly at his computer game. "You want another beer?" he asked as he placed his drink on the table. Jack shook his head. "Nah, coffee's fine."  
  
The Colonel nodded his thanks as he reached for Daniels mug, much to the irritation of his friend who decided that fetching another would involve way too much effort. "So what do you think?" Jack asked as he blew at the steam.  
  
Daniel sat down heavily, exhaustion suddenly getting the better of him. "About what?"  
  
"About Carter and all these scientists. You think I should say something? Suggest she start looking outside of Geekland?"  
  
"You could have just said the scientific community," Daniel rolled his eyes at Jack's blatant insult. "And anyway, what makes you think you have the right to talk to her about her personal life?"  
  
Jack looked incredulous. "I'm her CO Daniel. It's my job to look out for members of my team."  
  
"You mean like the subtle way you warned me off Kira?"  
  
Jack blinked. "Destroyer Of Worlds, Daniel."  
  
Apparently Daniel was still a little sore on the subject. "Yeah, well, not anymore. Besides, it's not as if Sam's breaking any rules with this guy, and you know she's way too smart to let anything slip about the Stargate program."  
  
"I don't know Daniel," Jack frowned. "She can get pretty emotional at times."  
  
"She's as professional as you are, and you know it," the archaeologist replied. "And as for who this guy is, you and I both know there's no way you'll ever be happy with anyone Sam dates, no matter what they do for a living."  
  
Jack just frowned, knowing he'd lost the argument. Daniel knew him too well to believe a lie when it came to his feelings for Carter. Just because they never talked about it didn't mean he was blind.  
  
Daniel rose from his seat and looked at his watch. "I need to use the bathroom, but Sam asked me to call her cell phone about now in case the date was going badly," he glanced at Jack before heading towards the stairs. "Can you call her for me? I really gotta go."  
  
"No problem," Jack replied as he hoisted himself out of the armchair. "And thanks for the update on your bladder control," he muttered, reaching for the phone.  
  
Jack's mind was in a whirl as he automatically tapped in the numbers to Carters cell. What was he supposed to say? What if she was having a good time and he ruined it for her? Well, that one maybe wasn't so bad. Be better if she was having a terrible time."Hello?"  
  
The sound of her voice on the other end stunned the Colonel into silence. Say something, his mind was yelling, but apparently the connection between brain and mouth had been severed.  
  
"Daniel?" There she was again. Jack closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on the reason for the call. "Why are calling from the Colonels place?" Jack blinked, surprised at her apparent psychic abilities, then he remembered. Caller ID.  
  
Modern technology. What a wonderful thing.  
  
Jack nervously cleared his throat, which was apparently enough for Carter to recognise the voice. "Colonel?"  
  
"Uh, yeah Carter, it's me." Was that his voice? When did it get all squeaky? Still, at least he had finally remembered how to talk.  
  
Carter, however, sounded concerned. "Is everything okay?"  
  
Jack laughed nervously, and then banged his head against the wall for sounding so dumb. "Everything's fine," he replied rubbing his head with his free hand.  
  
"Really? Only I thought I heard banging."  
  
Crap.  
  
"No, I'm fine." A change of subject was definitely the way to go. "Daniel said you needed someone to call and he's. indisposed at the moment. So he asked me to do it."  
  
"Oh," he could hear the uncertainty in her voice. "Well I'm glad."  
  
Huh?  
  
"Huh?"  
  
In his minds eye he could almost see the Major closing her eyes in frustration. Strangely, it made him smile.  
  
"I mean I'm glad he remembered."  
  
"Oh. Well, is everything alright or do you need me to make up some emergency?"  
  
Jack heard a sigh and immediately he perked up. "An emergency would be good right about now," she murmured. "But I don't think a call's going to be enough."  
  
"That bad?" He was trying to keep the grin out of his voice. Seriously.  
  
"Worse." There was a lengthy pause on the line and for a moment Jack thought maybe he's been cut off. "Carter?"  
  
"Sir, do you think maybe. I mean, would it be too much bother if."  
  
He hated it when she did this. Heck, he hated it when anyone did this. Why did people always find it so hard to just finish a sentence? "Carter."  
  
Sam cleared her throat. "Couldyoucomegetme?" she asked in a rush. "I need to get out of here before I commit a felony and I've had too much to be under the limit." She paused, uncertain. "I'll pay for the gas," she added hastily.  
  
Jack's reply was immediate. "Where are you?"  
  
"That Chinese on 23rd. Mr Wang's or Wong's or something. I'm hiding in the bathroom. Are you sure you don't mind?"  
  
"'Course not," he replied casually as he tried putting his jacket on upside down and tying his laces one handed. "I'll be there in 20 minutes."  
  
Hanging up the phone he grabbed his car keys from the table and headed towards the door. "Where're you going?" Daniel asked, appearing in the doorway.  
  
"I'm gonna pick up Carter. Apparently her date is a geek after all," he added smugly.  
  
"Oh," Daniel replied nonchalantly. "You want some company?" he yawned.  
  
Jack had never been so glad to see Daniel wiped out in his life. "Nah. You go get some sleep." Daniel nodded and grabbed his coat, then followed Jack out the door.  
  
Jack unlocked the door to his car and climbed in the driver's seat. "You sure you're alright to drive?" he asked Daniel as he watched him do the same.  
  
"Sure. We only had two beers each and that was a couple of hours ago. I'll be fine." He climbed into his own car and waved slightly at the Colonel as he pulled away and drove carefully and well under the speed limit towards home.  
  
Jack watched him disappear around the corner then did a three-point-turn and peeled off in the other direction, heading towards the restaurant as fast as he could.  
  
------------------------------------- Part two to follow shortly. Feedback is mandatory. You wouldn't want to make me cry, would you? 


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: Pretty much everything belongs to Gecko etc.  
  
A/N: Thanks again to Abby for beta reading. I'd like to start your fan club. Also, I wanted to say thanks to all of you who reviewed the last chapter. I've never had so many reviews of a single chapter before! I hope you like this one as much!  
  
Fame and Fortune Cookies  
  
Part Two: Mr Wong's Cantonese Restaurant  
  
From the moment she arrived at the restaurant Sam Carter was already beginning to regret agreeing to her date.  
  
Actually, in all fairness it wasn't from the exact moment of her arrival, just from the minute she caught her first glimpse of Jeremy's tie. What was it about those scientists at Area 51 that made them continuously mistake irony for really bad fashion sense?  
  
A black tie covered in little green men? For God's sake, it wasn't even funny.  
  
Closing her eyes and inhaling deeply, Sam plastered on her most winning smile and made her way over to the table where her date stood waiting like a gentleman, ready to pull out her chair. She knew something was coming, but she just didn't know what. Still, she began to mentally calculate how long it would be before he came out with something like.  
  
"Greetings Earthling!"  
  
And she hadn't even sat down yet. That had to be a record.  
  
Resisting the urge to make a bolt for the door before he began quoting from the X Files, Sam avoided eye contact with the now staring patrons and slid self-consciously into her chair. After about a minute wherein it seemed Jeremy was waiting for a round of applause from the astounded onlookers, he took his seat somewhat dejectedly and regarded her for a moment.  
  
"You look stunning," Jeremy said simply and Sam smiled despite herself. "Thank you," she replied. "You don't look too bad yourself."  
  
"You like the tie?" he asked, waving it before her like a limp Haddock. "Rach suggested I wear it." He leaned forward and lowered his voice conspiratorially. "Said you'd get the in-joke."  
  
Sam smiled weakly, wishing she was anywhere but there. "Yeah, it's very.subtle." She replied, making a mental note to exact very painful revenge on Doctor Rachel Harper just as soon as she could think of something suitable.  
  
Maybe she could give Lord Yu coordinates to Rachel's house and tell him it's Anubis' new base.  
  
No, not cruel enough. She could do better.  
  
How long until McKenzie was back in town?  
  
The waiter arrived and Sam quickly scanned the menu, deciding that if she was going to have to put up with the tie-from-hell for the next few hours, she was damn well going to order the most expensive thing on the menu.  
  
Uh, Squid?  
  
Okay, the second most expensive thing.  
  
A fish starter, three orders of Crispy Duck, two Special Fried Rice, a whole mess of noodles she was never going to manage and a minor heart attack from the man across the table later, and the waiter moved silently away to fetch the bottle of very pricey Pinot-Noir from the cellars (he should never have let her choose the wine.), leaving a smug AF Major-cum- Astrophysicist and a palpitating Particle Physicist to make strained first date conversation.  
  
"Are you sure all you want is the Noodle Soup?" Sam asked innocently as she squirmed uncomfortably, pulling at her hem and trying to straighten her skirt down over her thighs. Sometimes practically living in BDU's wasn't such a bad thing. Jeremy nodded dumbly, leaving her unsure as to whether it was the acute pain in his credit card that had left him mute, or the fact that she had just proven to another man that somewhere under her sexless fatigues, she did indeed have legs. And nice legs too, if she said so herself.  
  
Which she rarely did.  
  
"I'm fine," Jeremy replied rather too loudly and took a long drink of water from his attractively decorated glass. Suddenly Sam felt a little guilty for assuming the worst of her date and smiled gently at him. "I think I've ordered a little too much for one person. We could share if you like."  
  
Jeremy shook his head. "I'm allergic," he replied mournfully.  
  
"To what?"  
  
"Everything you ordered."  
  
Ah.  
  
The waiter returned in record time and offered the opened bottle to Jeremy to taste. Shaking his head he waved his hand towards Sam and the wine was poured into her glass.  
  
"Allergic?" she asked, half kidding.  
  
Jeremy nodded. "To the Tannins."  
  
There really was very little anyone could say to that so instead Sam took a large gulp of the wine and nodded her approval to the waiter who seemed to have a sixth sense and poured her an entire glass full before leaving the bottle on the table. She was definitely going to need it.  
  
The restaurant was becoming more crowded by the minute and for some reason, the close proximity of other patrons seemed to perk Jeremy up a little. "So what did you do today?" he asked loudly enough for those around him to hear.  
  
Sam winced. She'd just arrived back on Earth this morning after five days of solid negotiations with the council of P93-652. "I worked," she replied, trying to communicate with him to change the subject through her tone of voice. "Nothing worth talking about."  
  
Apparently subtlety flew straight over his head.  
  
"Me too!" he replied with the excitement of a child. "Rachel and I spent the morning studying that artefact Dr Jackson brought back from."  
  
"Jeremy." Finally the now dangerous tone in Sam's voice bought him to an abrupt halt, his face registering a look of mild surprise before turning into a sulky frown.  
  
"Oh, come on," he whined pathetically. "Don't you ever get sick of all the secrets? Sometimes I just want to yell what I do for a living from the rooftops!" he moved his chair a little closer to the table, as if that movement alone could reassure her that no one was going to hear them. "I mean, how many people can say they work in area.."  
  
"Jeremy."  
  
".and you being a member of SG."  
  
"Jeremy!"  
  
This time her voice was about as subtle as a sledgehammer and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare at the yelling mad woman.  
  
Completely ignorant of the people around her, Sam downed the rest of her wine then poured herself a fresh glass. Taking a large swallow, she lowered her head and glared at her 'date'. "I realise that for some insane reason you want to talk about what we do for a living," she began as her fingers tightened dangerously around the stem of her glass, "but I swear to God, if you mention one more word about anything to do with our work, I'll have you locked up in a military prison so fast you'll still be wearing that stupid tie." Jeremy winced and glanced down at the offending article. "Now am I making myself clear, or do I have to spell it out for you?"  
  
Once again he was stunned into complete silence and simply nodded mutely. Sam placed the wine glass gently back on the table and rose from her seat. "Now I'm going to the bathroom, and when I get back we are going to change the subject." With that she grabbed her purse and headed for the rest rooms, her eyes trained determinedly on the door before her and avoiding eye contact with anyone who dared to look her way.  
  
Slamming the stall door behind her, she threw the lock into place and sat heavily on the toilet seat. Of all the monumentally stupid ideas she had ever had in her life, this one had to be the worst.  
  
Who the hell was she kidding anyway? The only reason she had agreed to this date in the first place was to prove to herself once and for all that she was over a certain Colonel, and look where it had got her.  
  
She kicked the door. On a date with a man who wanted only to boast about the one thing it was forbidden to discuss.  
  
She kicked it again, a little harder. Dressed up like a Barbie doll in case the Colonel just 'happened' to show up.  
  
She kicked the door for a third time. Sitting in the bathroom of a renowned Cantonese restaurant wishing she was still at the SGC.  
  
With the Colonel.  
  
This time when she booted the door it made a very satisfactory crunching noise and immediately a disembodied voice came out of nowhere. "Is everything all right in there?"  
  
Should have checked the other stalls. Damn, damn, damn.  
  
"Fine," Sam squeaked, then cleared her throat. "The, uh, the door wouldn't lock so I had to kick it a little to get the bolt in place."  
  
"Oh." There was a rustling sound then a toilet flushed and footsteps sounded against the tiled floor. "Well, I hope you get out alright." The main door creaked open, and then the footsteps were gone.  
  
Sam blinked.  
  
Sam blinked again. She never washed her hands.  
  
Eww.  
  
Opening her own door, she stepped out into the main room and glanced at herself in the bathroom mirror. Grimacing, she grabbed a paper towel and blotted at her wine-stained lips before re-applying her gloss.  
  
Suddenly her cell phone began to ring and Sam was so surprised she almost dropped her bag. Then she remembered. Daniel! Rooting through her typically female clutch, she pulled out her phone and looked at the display screen.  
  
Jack? Why would the Colonel be ringing her tonight?  
  
Normally the sight of the Colonels actual name coming up on her cell phone would have her internally giggling like a schoolgirl. It was her own little weakness, after all, to see his name up in lights and to pretend, for at least a moment that she was allowed to call him by name.  
  
But not today.  
  
No. Today she was more concerned about why he was calling her than going weak over four little letters.  
  
Pressing the receive button on her phone, she held it up to her ear.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
She could have sworn she heard someone catch their breath, but despite the two glasses of expensive wine, her rational side decided it was more than likely just a bad connection.  
  
Figuring it must be Daniel calling as promised, she tried again. "Daniel?"  
  
She paused, but still there was no answer. "Why are you calling from the Colonel's place?"  
  
Suddenly there was a distinct sound of someone clearing their throat and instantly Sam knew it wasn't Daniel. Her heart skipped a beat. She'd heard that sound before. In fact, she'd recognise that sound anywhere.  
  
"Colonel?"  
  
Finally there was a full sentence from the other end of the line. "Uh, yeah Carter, it's me."  
  
Sam closed her eyes and smiled at the sound of his husky, if somewhat high- pitched, voice. Still, sexy voice or not, why was he calling? "Is everything okay?"  
  
On the other end of the line the Colonel laughed, then Sam could have sworn she heard a dull thud. "Everything's fine."  
  
She frowned at her reflection in the mirror. "Really? Only I though I heard banging."  
  
"No, I'm fine." There was a pause, then "Daniel said you needed someone to call and he's indisposed at the moment. So he asked me to do it."  
  
Right. So Daniel was either making coffee or in the bathroom. Sam smiled. What is it with men and their obsession with taking hours in the bathroom? What do they do in there?  
  
On second thoughts, she didn't want to know.  
  
"Oh," Sam replied pathetically, then said the first thing that came to mind. "Well, I'm glad."  
  
CRAP.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
How to get out of this one? She had to think fast. Wouldn't want him to think she was hopelessly in love with him, after all. "I mean I'm glad he remembered."  
  
"Oh." Did he sound disappointed? "Well, is everything alright or do you need me to make up some emergency?"  
  
Sam sighed deeply, picturing her date sitting at their table probably hinting to all those who could hear, that he worked at the infamous Area 51. "An emergency would be good right about now," she murmured, wishing more than anything that he was here with her. "But I don't think a call's going to be enough."  
  
"That bad?" Did he sound *happy*?  
  
Sam smiled slightly. If only he knew. "Worse."  
  
Suddenly She had an idea. In fact, she had the best idea she had ever had. Better than how to disconnect Earth from a black hole, better even than how to save an entire planet of aliens using only sound frequencies. This idea was pure genius.  
  
"Carter?"  
  
Sam took a deep breath. "Sir, do you think maybe." She had to sound needy. "I mean, would it be too much bother if."  
  
"Carter." Perfect.  
  
Now in for the kill.  
  
She cleared her throat for dramatic effect. "Couldyoucomegetme?"  
  
More! She decided. He needs more! "I need to get out of here before I commit a felony and I've had too much to be under the limit." She paused. "I'll pay for the gas."  
  
Her plan worked perfectly. He didn't even stall. "Where are you?"  
  
"That Chinese on 23rd. Mr Wang's or Wong's or something." Like she hadn't been here a hundred times before. Their takeout menu was pinned to her refrigerator door. "I'm hiding in the bathroom. Are you sure you don't mind?"  
  
"'Course not. I'll be there in 20 minutes." The Colonel disconnected the call and Sam placed her phone back in her bag.  
  
With a grin that threatened to split her face in half, She reached for her brush and ran it through her short blond hair. First she would scare the hell out of Jeremy with a visit from Cheyenne Mountain's second in command, then she would spend twenty minutes or so alone with said 2IC in his car.  
  
To hell with the fact that the cost of a cab in the morning to pick up her own car would be horrendous.  
  
Colonel Jack O'Neill was coming to break up her date.  
  
With a lot more enthusiasm than before, Sam pulled open the bathroom door and walked back to her table, her hips swaying just that little bit more.  
  
---------------------------------------------- 


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: Pretty much everything belongs to Gecko etc.  
  
A/N: Once again, I bow and scrape at the feet of my Beta Reader Abby, without whom this would, quite frankly, have been crap.  
  
Fame and Fortune Cookies  
  
Part Three: The Journey  
  
Sam was just polishing off her second plate of rice, dutifully trying to initiate some sort of conversation with her date (who suddenly seemed strangely terrified of her) when Colonel O'Neill came barging into the restaurant like a bull in a china shop and came to a sudden halt in front of her table.  
  
"Carter, we gotta go," he said without preamble and Sam jumped quickly to her feet, grabbing her purse.  
  
"What's happened?" she asked, utilising all her best facial expressions to find something akin to concern.  
  
What happened? Crap. He hadn't thought that far ahead.  
  
The pained look on his face told Sam all she needed to know. Luckily she was well prepared for such a situation. "Nothing you can discuss in public, right?" she prompted innocently.  
  
Jack smiled in relief. "Right," he answered and glanced warily at her dinner date. Seeing the tie, he suddenly didn't feel so rushed. "And you are...?"  
  
"Jeremy," the man jumped to his feet enthusiastically. "Doctor Jeremy Dawson. I work out of...The other place."  
  
Jack blinked. "The other place?" A sharp elbow in the ribs answered this question and he glared at Sam accusingly. "That hurt!" he exclaimed. "And I'd have got it eventually." Turning his attention back to Jeremy, he made to introduce himself. "I'm Colonel..."  
  
"Jack O'Neill, yes I know," came the excited reply. "I've heard all the stories about you. You're a bit of a legend where I work."  
  
A bit of a legend huh? Jack risked a smug sidelong glance at his Major who just rolled her eyes and fiddled with her shoulder strap.  
  
Ignoring her completely, he continued his conversation with Jeremy. "So what exactly have you heard?" he asked, while he mentally caressed his ego.  
  
"Colonel," Sam interrupted impatiently, "the urgent problem?"  
  
Jack furrowed his brow. The urgent...? Right! "Oh. Yeah. Sorry Johnny..."  
  
"Jeremy."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"My name," Jeremy reiterated slowly. "It's Jeremy."  
  
Jack nodded. "Right. Whatever. See you around Jeremy." He glanced at the table quickly. "Can we take those?" he asked, indicating to the fortune cookies. "I'm hungry."  
  
Astounded at the Colonel's complete disregard for manners, Jeremy nodded dumbly and Jack grabbed the two cookies off the tea plate before ushering Sam in front of him. "Thanks Jimmy!" he said animatedly and with that they rushed out of the restaurant leaving a simmering and slightly embarrassed scientist to pay the bill, whilst muttering 'Jeremy' over and over again.  
  
~*~  
  
"Want a fortune cookie?" Jack asked as they settled themselves comfortably in the front seats of his jeep. Sam nodded and took the proffered item. "So was he really that bad?" he continued as he turned the key in the ignition and the engine began to make a satisfactory purring sound.  
  
"Worse," Sam murmured miserably. "Did you see his tie?" she shook her head in disgust. "He actually greeted me with some Science Fiction quote." Jack snorted at that which made Sam smile a little. "The evening went downhill from there."  
  
Jack pulled out of the restaurant parking lot and onto the street. Once they were cruising along towards Sam's house he began to talk again. "So why were you hiding in the bathroom?"  
  
"Because I lost my temper with him at the table," she replied quietly. "Turns out the only reason he wanted to go on a date with me is so he could boast to his colleagues that he went to dinner with a member of the SGC."  
  
"I can't believe that's true," Jack said looking at her.  
  
"It is," Sam corrected. "He even tried to have a conversation with me about Area 51 at the dinner table. That's why I got mad. That's why I was hiding."  
  
Jack took his eyes off the road for a moment to glance at his companion. "You really believe that he wasn't interested in you?" he asked, genuinely surprised. Sam nodded, almost happy to be wallowing in her own misery.  
  
"Huh," Jack muttered. There was an uncomfortable pause for a moment, then he said "D'you want me to take you to Daniel's?"  
  
"No," Sam replied. "Why?"  
  
Jack shrugged. "So you can talk. You know I'm not good at stuff like this..."  
  
Unable to suppress the grin that formed on her face, Sam leaned her head against the window and watched as the dark world moved past her. "I don't mind talking to you, sir," she murmured as she absently traced her finger along the inside of the window, following a pattern made by the evening dew.  
  
Jack glanced at her again. "Okay," he said slowly, convinced that he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life. "Let's talk."  
  
Sam turned her head against the seat rest and regarded her CO in confusion. "Now?"  
  
"Sure!" Jack replied with an enthusiasm that even he could tell sounded as fake as it felt. "What d'you want to talk about?"  
  
Sam sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. "I want to talk about us."  
  
There was a screech of brakes and the jeep swerved dangerously close to the curb, but Jack managed to pull the wheels straight before crashing. Saying a quick prayer of thanks to the Gods of Power Steering, they were back on the road in no time.  
  
Or not, Sam thought as she tried to ease the pressure of the seat belt from off of her ribcage by pushing with her stomach muscles. "Should I take that as a 'No', sir?" she asked sarcastically, peeling her fingers from their vice-like grip on the dashboard.  
  
"Take it as a 'Not right at this moment'," Jack replied and immediately discovered an intense fascination with driving.  
  
Sam groaned and closed her eyes, trying to block out the image of the Colonel's suddenly tense features. Of all the stupid things to say, she thought as she mentally gave herself the beating of her life. Everything was going along just fine and you had to ruin it.  
  
A few minutes later the jeep swerved once more and Sam opened her eyes in surprise as Jack pulled neatly into a parking space outside a liquor store.  
  
Sam's expression spoke volumes as Jack glanced at her before unclipping his seatbelt. "If we're going to have this discussion I need beer," he explained shortly and stepped out of the jeep.  
  
"But I thought you didn't want to talk anymore, sir" Sam said before he had closed the door.  
  
"Not while I was driving," he pointed out, "Besides, this has gone on long enough."  
  
Sam blinked. "This?"  
  
"You know," he replied, waving his hand frustratedly between the two of them. "This."  
  
Before she could answer, he was slamming the door closed behind him and walking on lead-filled shoes towards the liquor store, thinking that maybe he should get whiskey instead.  
  
~*~  
  
The remainder of the short journey back to Jack's house was awkward to say the least. Sam never once questioned why he had chosen his place over hers, just as Jack didn't bother to ask if she even liked single malt whiskey.  
  
It was a good thing she did, really, she thought to herself as she absently smoothed down the label on the bottle sitting comfortably on her lap, because if they were finally going to have this conversation then she was going to need all the intoxicating help she could get.  
  
The distance between his house and the store was short but after two minutes of uncomfortable silence Jack reached over and turned on the radio. A ballad proclaiming some poor bastard's undying love for a woman he could never have filled the enclosed space and immediately he reached over to change stations.  
  
The next song was no better and he tuned to another station.  
  
Four more stations involving songs about unrequited love and one documenting Fred Flintstone's apparently obvious alliance with Satan and the radio was switched off, with Jack mentally vowing to never listen to another song for as long as he lived.  
  
Which, depending on how this evening went, may not be too long.  
  
Jack pulled up outside his house and switched off the engine. Despite noticing the distinct chill in the air as they sat there in the no longer heated jeep, neither made an effort to move.  
  
"We're going to have sex aren't we?" Sam said eventually, suddenly absurdly pleased to be wearing a wrinkle-proof skirt.  
  
Jack nodded sombrely. "Probably," he sighed and tried to remember what boxers he'd decided to wear that day. Unclipping his seatbelt he moved his hand over to rest on the door handle. Unfortunately, he couldn't seem to get any further.  
  
There was a few moments pause, then suddenly Sam stamped her feet with a decisive "Shit!" and the bottle of whiskey threw itself to the floor in defeat.  
  
Jack reached down and grabbed the precious liquid before the angry Major decided its life was expendable and stamped on it too. He cradled it protectively to his chest. "Well that was unnecessary," he said sulkily and opened the door.  
  
Stepping out of the jeep he turned to look at the Major who was still stationary inside the car. "Carter?" he questioned quietly.  
  
Sam sat for a moment longer then unclipped her seatbelt with determination. "Yeah," she said as she opened the passenger door and stepped out into the cold night. "I'm coming."  
  
Jack locked up his vehicle and walked up the path towards his house, absently wondering what her last sentence would sound like under different circumstances.  
  
By the time he reached his front door he couldn't contain the grin spreading across his face. After all, if luck was on his side tonight, he may finally get to find out.  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
Despite my plans for this story to be a three-parter, I've realised that I'll have to post in four chapters. The final chapter will be set inside Jack's house and will be posted just as soon as I get time to finish the draft and send it over to Abby for some much needed beta reading.  
  
In the interim, I want you to know that I am a feedback whore. 


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